Script Feedback: The Meeting
After handing my script in, my teacher, Simon Welsford read through it and gave me feedback on the story & structure, action & dialogue and formatting and layout. Simon also went through our scripts and added notes on each page to help us.
Here is the script report I received back.
After reading through the feedback I also read back through my script and realised the mistakes I had made. I noticed how my dialogue on the actual meeting between the two characters was too forced and forward - I realise now that I need to let the dialogue build up, although Ben will be excited to meet/re connect with his Dad, he would still be nervous and it would be too awkward to just go straight into what happened between them. To change this I'm going to add more dialogue and let it gradually build into a heated argument.
At first I didn't want to change the Dad to an absent father as I felt the adoption story line would be stronger. However, after a lot of reconsideration I realised that it would make more sense to have the Dad being an absent father as I've not mentioned the biological mum at all.
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