Major Project: Script Changes! + Research

As i've been going over my script, I wanted to make sure that everything was to a great standard before filming - does the script make sense? Can I change anything? Is everything too obvious? These are the questions going through my mind, so I began some research into some extra ways I can create a great suspenseful script without giving too much away.

Develop Your Characters

• The reader will not be thrilled by the action if he or she does not care about the characters and what happens to them. If the hero is in trouble and the villain is closing in, readers will not feel the suspense if they do not root for the hero and are not repulsed by the villain. Your villain should use mental tactics that defy convention, and your hero should be extraordinary in some capacity. Create emotional connections with characters, even minimal characters, by providing physical details and some sort of backstory. For example, readers will be more affected if you tell them that young newlyweds on their honeymoon were hit by a speeding car than if you just say a car hit two people.

Leave The Reader Hanging

• Thrillers are characterized by cliff-hangers. Connect scene to scene, and don't let the action drop. Always set up what's coming next with suspense. End each chapter with a glimpse into the next, and create tension at the last minute that will keep the reader turning pages. In a psychological thriller, the action will be primarily mental and emotional. Psychological manipulation and mind tricks will keep the reader guessing. For example, a cliff-hanger might be suspenseful as a character makes a discovery, such as your hero finding that he's been lied to or deceived.

Timing Is Everything

• Time itself is a character in a thriller. Use time to your advantage, and engage the reader by using time as a catalyst for the action. For example, your hero must race to save the love interest before the villain succeeds. Just as comedy is all about timing, suspenseful moments also must be timed perfectly. If your villain is playing a game of cat-and-mouse with your hero, carefully plan the timing of each moment the villain strikes. Don't let the reader get too comfortable. Plan light moments of relief only to plunge the reader back into fast-paced action.
  http://www.ehow.com/how_4868677_write-psychological-thriller-novel.html

  
  

  After reading these, I decided to read through my script, and see what I could improve to make sure I was always surprising the audience and leaving the reader hanging. 
  The first thing I noticed that could change was the scene were Francis is in his study and is sitting drinking whiskey near the fire. Although I love the idea of this scene, I've realised that it would make Francis' character look VERY obvious. The scene isn't too close to the end either, and as I want to try create as much tension and enigma as possible - I don't want to reveal his identity too early. Therefore, I have decided to cut this scene out completely.

When going over the script a final time, I noticed some mistakes that I can't believe I hadn't noticed before.
The first thing, was that Lucy was meant to be staying at Bethany's house for the week - however, herself and James leave with no excuse, how could I change this?
I decided to add in the idea that Lucy and James are staying at a hotel. This is much more realistic as Bethany's house is meant to be small, so they wouldn't of fit anyway. Secondly, it enriches Lucy's character of being very stuck up as her and James are staying in a hotel instead of with her sister because the house isn't up to her standard.

I also noticed that i'd made a huge mistake with the days. One of the days goes on for way too many hours.
Bethany leaves in the morning to confront Daniel, then talks to Francis outside, goes home and argues with George, and comes back out to rehearse again, bearing in mind all this was set during the day it was very unrealistic.

To fix this I decided to simply add in some dialogue for Francis. When he see's her outside, he now asks why she's still here, as she needs some rest for 'tonight' (the rehearsals).